Cherlene Cheung
Irina Rosca
Hannah Kurchik
This week’s episode includes conversations with three young women who have had upsetting and demoralizing experiences bringing complaints about sexual assault or harassment to police. Hannah Kurchik is a joint law/social work student at the University of Windsor, and has spoken out in the past about her treatment by police when she reported a sexual assault. Irina Rosca is a Windsor Law grad who is now in practice at Monforton & Partners. Cherlene Cheung is a second-year law student at the University of Windsor, and a member of the national executive of Students for Consent Culture Canada (SFCC). Cherlene has also spoken out about her experiences reporting sexual assault in relation to how her undergraduate school (UOIT) dealt with her complaint. Also, scroll to the end of this post for the text of Cherlene’s letter to the detective who handled her case.
Related links:
Hannah on her treatment by police (Globe and Mail)
Students for Consent Culture Canada
Cherlene’s experience reporting her assault at UOIT (CBC)
Hannah’s testimony to the federal Status of Women Committee in 2016
Cherlene on the podcast Slut or Nut
*See below for the text of Cherlene’s letter to the detective who handled her case
In Other News:
In other news: an update regarding last week’s story about the Ontario government’s cuts to legal aid; Canadian Lawyer Magazine’s 2019 survey of legal fees; and the Ontario Court of Appeal accepts arguments about access to justice, procedural fairness, and evaluating evidence in the case of Kawartha-Haliburton Children’s Aid Society versus M.W., Curve Lake First Nation and Office of the Children’s Lawyer. (The NSRLP had intervenor status on this case, and was represented by Kate Kehoe, to whom we are extremely grateful. Stay tuned for more on this case.)
“Cutting Legal Aid: Reducing Access to Justice and Increasing Other Social Costs” (Slaw)
Petition to reverse cuts to Legal Aid Ontario funding
Canadian Lawyer Magazine’s 2019 Legal Fees Survey
Kate Kehoe’s Twitter thread on the Ontario Court of Appeal case
*Text of Cherlene’s letter to the detective who handled her case, three years later
Dear Jennifer,
You were the detective in my case three years ago. The events of what has happened over the last three years are now a constant foggy and warped memory. It would be jaw-dropping if you told me my case was anything more than insignificant to you. I say this because no one died and you didn’t need to call anyone’s mother to tell them their son died, right?
I have never been able to forget that first day I met you. The memory of the day you told me there won’t be a “charge” comes and goes, but it always pays a visit whenever I hear or read stories of sexual assault. As you can imagine, that’s pretty much all the time these days, and the cases I read in class and at work are no exception. In fact, it’s the straw that finally broke this camel’s back. I realized I could not go on with my life until I finally wrote this letter and I am shaking, even as I type this.
Overcoming my sexual assault and what transpired as a result of your investigation has been the hardest and most painful work of my “young adult” life. I have come to realize that the bigger part of my trauma is the hurt and betrayal I felt throughout your investigation to the very end of its existence. I knew I shouldn’t have told you what had happened to me because I knew every statistic and checkbox was against me. But I also knew I couldn’t live with myself because my gut told me I owed it to my future self to go through the process, to know that I did everything in my power to bring “justice”. And that’s the word I detest the most: justice. It’s such an awful word because there was (and is) no “winning” in this (and these) case(s). After my rape, I felt so dirty. I felt so much pain, physical and mental anguish, and I felt empty. The hollowness in my stomach still reminds me that I was raped, and everyone acted like it was all my own fault. The worst part is that I started to believe them after you told me there wouldn’t be a charge laid. What I desired most was to feel validated. I just wanted you to tell me you believed me (regardless). To hold my hand and to tell me that I still had a future (regardless). Call it paternalistic policing or against protocol, but I believe there is no rule book to being human. Instead, you made me feel like I was just another statistic in your database.
The point of this letter is not to blame you or shame you or threaten you, but rather it is, selfishly, the obvious next step for closure in my own life. If the grapevine holds any accuracy, you have led a noble life, and I admire what you’ve done with it. You have and continue to serve as a woman in the police force honourably, gotten married, and I am assuming you have been a good mother to your kid(s) as well, should you have them.
I also do not hate you. I really don’t. I don’t hate anyone in general, but I want you to know I don’t hate you or even Christian specifically either. I don’t even know what I want from you, in writing this letter, other than to relieve myself of this burden and to let you know that this thing has haunted me ever since. I recently saw a trial where the victim said three powerful words in response to a question under cross-examination: he raped me. And in that moment, her body changed, her eyes showed sorrow, but also forgiveness. Perhaps we can privately find ours.
I realized that if I didn’t finally write and send this, I would never move forward or forgive myself. In fact, no matter how many steps I take to find closure, I knew my failure to speak up and lack of closure about our last meeting in your office would always leave an open wound. Will this letter provide closure? Maybe. Maybe not. But I hope it will at least provide a few stitches of mending because even though I didn’t die that night, even though you didn’t have to call a mother to tell her that her daughter died, my story still matters.
Sincerely,
Cherlene Cheung
Jumping Off the Ivory Tower is produced and hosted by Julie Macfarlane and Dayna Cornwall; production and editing by Brauntë Petric; Other News produced and hosted by Ali Tejani; promotion by Moya McAlister and Ali Tejani.
Cherlene and other brave souls
I applaud your courage and efforts.
I believe you and I believe in you.
Take comfort that you have done what you could.
Andy Szabo
Thank you for writing this letter.
In my case, supposedly there was no probability of a conviction. Why does the Prosecutor get to make this decision? Would he have said that about a “murder”? I think not. The police said that my sexual assaults were founded, in other words, they believed me and the evidence was there…? But, I was denied that elusive word, “justice” and to this day I am called a liar by my attacker.
Rape and sexual assault just aren’t seen as crimes worthy of the same tenacity that other crimes are handled with. Why is this?
Maybe we didn’t physically die, but I know that something died inside of me during the 3 sexual assaults and degradation I endured. I know that a part of me died when “the system” let me down. I know that the part of me that believed in our justice and policing system definitely died. Maybe it wasn’t a physical death, but part of me is gone, is dead and not coming back.
Thank you for articulating how we feel when we are dismissed by the people who should be standing up for us.
Yes Cherlene, your “story matters”. Our people can never know how your “story matters” but they need to know how many women (and men) know this story and know this story is true and that it matters. I am convinced we need another level of Me Too to deal with those who refuse to take action but take none when survivors report their ordeal and the crime committed against us. We need more than Me Too.
Indeed there is a second assault
you have done all you could,, Our judicial system,, including the police,, rarely take offenses against women seriously enough to actually investigate, However,,,, this should be infuriating . NOT ANGRY??? Why not, if ever a circumstance demands some anger,, this is it, extreme betrayal of your dignity is where anger really fits, We as women are repeatedly told that we are not proper women if we get angry, really??? betrayal and insults to dignity if ever there was a time,,, this is it, just think about this for a bit .
I want to give a huge thanks to Hannah, Irina and Cherlene for sharing their stories. It is disheartening to learn there are legitimate reasons for victims not to disclose their sexual assaults. By these young women speaking out and creating a community there can be a shift such that police and prosecutors will change their attitudes and procedures. It will be a long road but a thousand mile journey begins with a single step and these wonderful women are leading the way.
I’d hire any and all of Hannah, Irina and Charlene if I needed legal representation!