Casual Sexism and Access to Justice – Facing Our Discomfort

Casual Sexism and Access to Justice – Facing Our Discomfort

Earlier this week, NSRLP posted a notice about a new women’s legal aid clinic in Vancouver on Facebook and Twitter.

Unfortunately, we have recently had to block a couple of Twitter accounts that have responded with misogynist comments to our tweets about women’s issues, and in particular, how the legal system fails to address sexual violence, most of whose victims are women. As some of you may have noticed, I have increasingly tweeted about these issues that I believe are essential to understanding some of the obstacles to achieving genuine Access to Justice.

One of our Facebook members chose the “angry” emoticon to react to the post and then wrote a comment (which I have removed) in the same hateful vein.

Casual sexism

While recognizing that some of my regular readers may find the connection to A2J tenuous, a convergence of events in the last week drives me to write this week about the tension that is pervasive when we discuss gender bias and sexism.

In particular I want to talk about the casual, offhand, often unintended sexism that has largely – although not, as the example above shows, entirely – replaced the explicit sexism of my youth.

What do I mean by casual sexism? To me, it comes down to generally patronizing and diminishing women, or minimizing their most poignant (painful, important, formative) experiences. It includes being part of social interactions where, for example, men are asked about their work, and women about their pets or hobbies, their clothes or their weight. Where a couple picks up the bill for dinner but only the guy – presumed to be the breadwinner – gets thanked (this one is a pet peeve of mine).

This casual sexism is not be as blatant or abrasive as the explicit “shut up about that” I heard regularly as a junior academic, but for me, and I suspect others too, it can feel just as corrosive and depressing. The choice is to ignore it, or (humorously, lightly) to call it out. The former feels passive, the latter exhausting.

And who wants to be this person in a crowd? Speaking up about casual sexism is commonly regarded as annoying, nagging (there’s a gendered concept), overly-sensitive (another one), or even paranoid.

I have been regularly accused of “over-sensitivity and paranoia” in raising issues of gender bias for more than 35 years. And you know what? That has never been true. Not once. The behavior I have reacted to was real, and if we hope to change the chauvinism prevalent in our culture, these casual, unmindful acts of sexism must sometimes be acknowledged, and challenged.

Do some people find my continual raising of these issues annoying? Yes, probably. Impolite even, by the standards of some. But as the shirt my daughter gave me for Mother’s Day says: “well-behaved women seldom make history.” (Laurel Thatcher Ulrich)

The cycle of statement & response

Someone who is a casual sexist is often kind, thoughtful, and likeable – and oblivious to the implications of their behavior. And this brings me to the next challenge of casual sexism – these guys do not like to be called on their behavior. Because they aren’t sexist, right? They’re just being dudes, and anyone who challenges this interpretation needs to be put firmly – very firmly – in their place.

The intensity and predictability of this response is often, at least in my experience, more upsetting and depressing than the original behavior. Because raising a question – even a tentative, humorous, just-saying kind of question – about casual sexism brings down a force of hostility that never fails to shock me. “How dare you accuse me of sexism? How dare you suggest that I (Sensitive New Age Guy that I am) don’t understand these issues? Of course I get it!”

Casual sexism by its very nature seems to deny and thereby extend the victimization that many women have experienced.

So there you have the cycle – raising issues of casual sexism is characterized as “overly sensitive and paranoid” – or at minimum “annoying and killjoy” – by men who are otherwise open, kind and reasonable – but suddenly develop abrasive and hostile reactions when this topic is even raised. They are not sexists – how dare you! The cycle ends with the woman silenced.

Can we break the cycle?

We see the same cycle in relation to other issues – racism, homophobia, ageism – where we struggle back-and-forth between denying and confronting our own biases and advantages. We even see it in the continued widespread denial or minimization of our Access to Justice crisis.

If we address casual sexism each time we experience it, we wouldn’t have time to do much else each day, and few people would want to hang out with us. So maybe that’s unrealistic.

But gender bias is powerful. It affects everything we do, and how we think – how we see the world and how the world sees us – how we read and respond to the news, for what or whom we cast our vote, how we think about Access to Justice, how we relate to our colleagues, and how – most importantly – we talk to our family, friends, and children.

We could make a lot more progress towards mutual understanding on the occasions that we do choose to raise these issues if we could break the cycle of finger-pointing . Our progress towards “normalizing” conversations about such topics is painfully slow. Surely casual sexism – just like race, homophobia and Access to Justice – is important enough that we should be able to raise it as part of normal conversation, without everyone getting angry or defensive?

Three acknowledgements seem critical in order for us to be able to raise these issues, and to have better conversations.

  1. We don’t know enough

The experience of being female in a male-dominated culture is poorly understood by most men. These are often really nice men, kind and intelligent, but they don’t know enough to be able to really empathize with this power imbalance (just as I cannot understand the experience of a man, or the experience of a woman of colour). They have probably never been raped, sexually assaulted, or made afraid by a woman.

Simply “not-knowing” is a big part of the Access to Justice challenge. While members of the legal profession know more now than they did 5 years ago about how many Canadians come to court without counsel, there are still many in the profession who remain blissfully ignorant of the scale of the crisis. If they do not know why so many Canadians are coming to court without counsel, they probably also do not know that the wage gender gap likely means that the unaffordability of legal counsel is even more acute for women than men. Or the prevalence of domestic male-on-female violence and the strained patchwork of public services.

     2.   We don’t understand what there is to know

“Not-knowing” is compounded by a denial that there is anything that we may need to know, but do not.

As anyone who tries to explain a painful experience with sexism, racism, or homophobia (for example) will tell you, the first problem is convincing the other person of the validity of their experience – in other words, that there is anything that they even need to know and understand.

In Access to Justice, knowledge about the sheer volume of SRLs is just a first – albeit important – step towards understanding. The next is to recognize that there are aspects to this experience – the different reasons that people find themselves without counsel, their experiences of working with lawyers, what it is like to navigate the system alone and especially, what are the multiple and intense impacts of self-representing – that we cannot just assume that we know. We have to listen with humility in order to find out.

  1. We are scared of any change to the status quo

This is the big one.

What would happen if a man in conversation with a woman were to try to expand his understanding of, say, what it is like to be date raped, or what it is like to report an assault to authorities who then accuse the victim of lying, or what it is like to always be the person who raises the “that’s a little bit sexist don’t you think?” flag in conversation?

Raising the issue puts the other person on notice that something needs to change. And change scares us all, most of all.

It’s the same with the discussion about providing unbundled legal services to the primarily self-represented. Or providing SRLs with resources to enable them to pursue their cases partially by themselves. Or allowing para-professionals to help people who cannot afford lawyers. If we truly understood – as we try every day to do at NSRLP – what it means to be unable to afford Access to Justice and meaningful assistance, we would realize we have to change – and change is hard. For lawyers, it threatens not only how they think, but their status, their income and their identity.

Discomfort is inevitable – and it’s OK

I realize that this blog may elicit some strong negative responses (the cycle would suggest that).

But I believe that pushing important conversations forward and expanding our knowledge and understanding is important enough to accept some personal discomfort (and believe me I have experienced plenty in my inept efforts to confront casual sexism).

It’s OK to feel uncomfortable – in fact, it’s probably essential if we are to confront our lack of understanding and fear of change.

And after 35 years of being annoying on this topic, why would I quit now?

Julie

“well-behaved women seldom make history.” (Laurel Thatcher Ulrich)

 

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Comments (21)

  • bcaptijn Reply

    Excellent points made in this blog post.
    I think we need more male role models to take this message further. Most of the conversations I’ve had about sexism or sexual harassment since 1985 have been with other women. We know why this conduct is wrong. We need more men to speak out and carry the message to their colleagues/friends/family that treating women with respect is a sign of strength, not weakness.

    June 7, 2016 at 2:59 pm
  • Delmer O. B. Martin Reply

    I agree with bcaptijn! From my own perspective I have to state that I was born a male and my choices at the point I became a SRL were circumstances just as much out of my control. In fact the circumstances that forced me into SRL status were caused by a women who was much smarter and stronger than me, even though I was always told I was a typical “A” type male…Initially in my litigation I hired a senior female litigator however my ex’s litigator was a superior female litigator (she and my ex played/gamed the lower court and my less than superior solicitor was unable to handle their strategy. The only reason I did not lose everything including my sanity was because I persevered in the higher court, where my ex’s lawyer was up against wiser men and women. In my case, The Truth was always always on my side. With regards to Julies opinions and understanding I have to say that you are right on track however the ultimate scenario is when THE TRUTH is exposed for all to see! The way I see it, divisions in our society are obstructions to THE TRUTH! I know for a fact that the people at “the top” (in control) take advantage of all divisions in our society to solidify their own goals using the Cloward-Piven strategy. Consequently, I do not believe in supporting any division like male-female or black-white etc. I do not agree with our politically correct society either because they do NOT respect or promote the truth no matter which side they are on. Everything and anything is either good or evil. Personally I believe that nothing is worth pursuing except for the truth…The truth, trumps so called justice or sexism or race etc. and we need to seek the truth and expose the truth and the truth will make us free as the wise saying goes. Truth = Freedom aka Freedom = Truth All other things come and go, truth is something that nobody can take away from us EVER! Keep up the good work Julie, never give up! You are on the “right” track.

    June 7, 2016 at 4:51 pm
  • F. Christensen Reply

    I will mince no words. Your casual assumption that only women are victims of sexism is itself sexist, and viciously false. I have seen too much suffering and death (of men AND females in their lives)–notably in our provably and grossly anti-male and anti-father “justice” sytem–to be other than totally frank. Given your admirable NSRLP project, perhaps you are open to being educated. I can send you vast amounts of evidence, and will presume to attach one large one–by a family-law lawyer who quit his profession in disgust and pain at the overwhelming anti-father bigotry.

    Professor Emeritus Ferrel Christensen University of Alberta

    June 7, 2016 at 5:28 pm
  • Dom Bautista Reply

    Julie, as a friend, I can only admire you from afar. To be brave enough to champion those who are in the periphery is a calling. Illegitimi non carborundum!

    As a teacher, I am mindful of the gap, providing a sustained space to learn about racism, misogyny, violence committed against women, transgender, and other related issues within the A2J world is my commitment. And most importantly of all, have my student paralegals serve in clinics to help the disadvantaged.

    Dom Bautista Law Courts Center

    June 8, 2016 at 3:10 pm
  • sandra olson Reply

    i would very much like to contact this legal aid facility you mentioned, I live just outside of Vancouver and I need some help with my case. I was a self represented female, and the courts practically held the door and threw me out onto the street. if it can be corrected, I would like to know how.

    June 8, 2016 at 7:07 pm
  • Jan Steen Reply

    Discrimination is the most Natural law for survival. However, ever since ‘Man-kind’ began its noble sojourn, THINKING to be superior to all beasts, matters became confusing. Organized Religion has become the greatest bane to our existence. Having it ‘high-in-the head!’ is likely leading us to a quick demise as a species. F. Christensen minces no words./ Wanting joined custody, I became legal fodder in family Court in the seventies. I was, still am, a caring Dad who lost everything./ Are men inherently violent? Most are raised and behaviour set by their mothers. Taught to be good little boys, they are riled on to kill on the field. Thus, many grow up confused./ In many animal species, females are dominant. They are FAR more clever then their more one-dimensional mates./ Living in an unfulfilling ‘Man’s World’ is threatening this species. I say: Rise up, and liberate us all!
    You can do it, and I will STAND by THEE!

    June 9, 2016 at 7:30 pm
  • brenbstewart Reply

    Just a question/thought: At what point does our position on an issue become merely a position as appose to our own personal soapbox?

    June 11, 2016 at 2:35 pm
  • Robert Reply

    F Christensen – I’m surprised they let your comment through. Every time I make a comment trying to educate them, they never allow it to go through. My best recommendation is to get Grant Brown’s book – Ideology and Dysfunction in Canadian Family Law. He is a lawyer but a lawyer who listens to accountants. Two contributing members who I have chatted to include Lucien Khodeir (Tax Accountant) and Brian Jenkins (Actuary and a Director of FACT) both of whom have brilliance well beyond any lawyer academic. It gives a history of how we got this Family Court disaster, the people responsible for it and the next steps. Highly recommended!!

    June 12, 2016 at 9:51 pm
  • Judy Gayton Reply

    The endless ism’s that threaten our collective humanity…

    Canadian researchers Dr. Allen Wade (BC) and Dr. Linda Coates (AB) practice Response Based Therapy, and conduct seminars called “Telling It Like It Isn’t” used to train judges, police and other “helping” professionals to recognize their own destructive practices.

    Their research exposes how police reports, judges rulings and news paper reports:
    1) blame victims
    2) protect perpetrators
    3) obscures and perpetuates violence.

    It begins with the casual sexism that no one bats an eye at and manifests itself into coercion, financial abuse, violence, rape and murder.Victims are the outcast, damaged goods whom it is permissible to repeatedly re-victimize in pursuit of earn a living. The hatred is visceral, the punishment justified and largely unquestioned.

    What’s hard is wrapping your head around crimes against humanity masquerading as socially sanctioned everyday evil that no one bats an eye at. But until we can all recognize and name discriminatory systemic abuse, challenge and hold those perpetuating it accountable for the abuse they themselves levy against the very victims they are charged to protect, it will continue to diminish us all. This is the real cycle of abuse we have yet to even begin to acknowledge.

    When I tried to bring this work to helping organizations, the resistance, excuses and dismissal of women in power was heart wrenching, Things are the way they are because individual people personally and groups collectively benefit from maintaining the status quo.The cult of un-accountability is the root cause of the unnecessary pain that plagues the world. The truth is the only thing that can change the world,

    Julie, please review, disseminate and champion Wade’s transformational findings in your own ground breaking work.

    August 26, 2016 at 7:32 am
  • Judy Gayton Reply

    The endless ism’s that threaten our collective humanity…

    Canadian researchers Dr. Allen Wade (BC) and Dr. Linda Coates (AB) practice Response Based Therapy, and conduct seminars called “Telling It Like It Isn’t” used to train judges, police and other “helping” professionals to recognize their own destructive practices.

    Their research exposes how police reports, judge’s rulings and newspaper reports:
    1) blame victims
    2) protect perpetrators
    3) obscures and perpetuates violence.

    It begins with the casual sexism that no one bats an eye at and manifests itself into coercion, financial abuse, violence, rape and murder. Victims are the outcast; damaged goods whom it is permissible to repeatedly re-victimize in pursuit of earn a living. The hatred is visceral, the punishment justified and largely unquestioned.

    What’s hard is wrapping your head around crimes against humanity masquerading as socially sanctioned everyday evil that no one bats an eye at. But until we can all recognize and name discriminatory systemic abuse, challenge and hold those perpetuating it accountable for the abuse they themselves levy against the very victims they are charged to protect, it will continue to diminish us all. This is the real cycle of abuse we have yet to even begin to acknowledge.

    When I tried to bring this work to helping organizations, the resistance, excuses and dismissal of women in power was heart wrenching, Things are the way they are because individual people personally and groups collectively benefit from maintaining the status quo. The cult of un-accountability is the root cause of the unnecessary pain that plagues the world. The truth is the only thing that can change that.

    Julie, please review, disseminate and champion Wade’s transformational findings in your own ground breaking work.

    August 27, 2016 at 4:59 pm
    • sandra olson Reply

      i cannot tell you how grateful I am for your insightful comments. it is rare to have someone understand, and then be willing to state something so difficult for the world to hear. I will give you an example of this sexism. I had dna testing done in a law suit by court order. I know the results to be incorrect, the lab director filed a statement claiming. LOTS OF WOMEN CLAIM THEY KNOW WHO THEIR CHILDS FATHER IS, AND MOST DONT KNOW UNTIL I TELL THEM. I nearly fell over with this expression of sexism and minimization of my intelligence. then the lab refuses to allow release of the file for independent review, even though this is a legal right I have. then the courts refuse to order the release, again, even though it is a legal right I have. then to shut me up permanently and end my asking for a full discovery, also something I was entitled to, I was declared vexatious and denied access to the courts. all of this done right here in bc Canada. we are only the land of the free with a charter of rights I guess if you are male and smiling gratuitously at the courts and whatever they say and do. question anything, and you will be silenced permanently.

      August 28, 2016 at 5:12 pm
      • Delmer O. B. Martin Reply

        Ms. Olson, I would even take it up another notch and state that you are a victim of bias. Bias is something that victimizes BOTH male and female in the system…and the problem is that judicial review of bias has such a high threshold and yet when one analyses those actual decisions bias is often completely covered up in the way the rulings come down. (when wolves are allowed to rule over wolves – sheep will never be the beneficiaries) I believe that gender differences is a micro problem, whereas I believe that judicial bias is a MACRO problem. I do not think that us men and women should not be infighting the way we are, I think we should all focus on the macro perspective and get the Judicial bias’s fixed first because Judicial and Systemic bias is running rampant over all of us. Getting one officer of the court to actually fix/repair what another officer of the court causes is very difficult if not impossible to do in most cases and THIS is what is so wrong! There is no easy access to Justice and this is also wrong. The insurance company of the officers of the court is wholly owned and governed by their own people (insiders) and there is NO accountability to anyone other than themselves) This is WRONG. This is the kind of bias that is really obstructing justice. It makes me so sad that while us little people are infighting those that control everything are completely united AGAINST ALL OF US! Those in control benefit greatly whenever us regular people are busy infighting amongst ourselves because that allows them to continue doing whatever they want. We must focus on our MACRO problems without compromise. My simple analysis is that female complaints have merits as do male complaints, but the real problem and solutions rest much higher up the system/agenda.

        September 1, 2016 at 2:46 pm
        • nsrlp Reply

          Believe me Ken, I want the problem solved – you think I am working this hard for the good of my health LOL?

          September 21, 2016 at 10:45 pm
        • sandra olson Reply

          thank you for your comments. what level of government would i need to go to to file this bias claim. and i am now, fighting ptsd. i have difficulty concentrating, and can only focus on these issues for short times before i get exhausted and have to take a break for a few days sometimes weeks. i am very upset and mistrustful of anyone associated with the courts and the justice system. i have panic attacks. please tell me how to do this in the most simple manner possible,

          September 22, 2016 at 1:18 am
    • sandra olson Reply

      I should have also included. I believe the women in our court systems, lawyers and judges are just as bad if not worse then the men. one woman, a lawyer, stood in court and said to the judge, also a woman, I BET SHE DOESNT EVEN KNOW WHO HER CHILDS FATHER IS. not one word of reprimand. this is a common sort of attack on women in the courts out here in BC. we are called sluts stupid etc etc and so the outright denial of our rights shouldn’t count. I applied to the court of appeal to hear my requests for discovery and disclosure of material, the clerk at the court of appeal repeatedly claimed my faxed in documents did not exist. he refused to give me a file number to enable my appeal. it is system wide.

      August 28, 2016 at 5:38 pm
  • Delmer O. B. Martin Reply

    Misogynist comments were deleted and authors had to be censored? The truth is, “well behaving women AND men seldom make history” . Sexism against female AND sexism against male is NOT good. Sexism in favor of female OR male is NOT good. Gender bias against female AND gender bias against male is NOT good. Gender bias in favor of female OR male is NOT good. All abuse is wrong! Treating females OR males unilaterally with disrespect is simply wrong and will NEVER lead to anything good.
    Truth is both males and females are absolutely awesome. Notice that there is nothing but a period at the end of the preceding sentence? From the beginning of our first recorded human history being male or female is absolutely awesome and is still true today. Truth is we males and females average 21,600 breaths per day! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Respiratory_ratehttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Respiratory_rate ) Just imagine for a minute if this was NOT true…We must also confess that none of us would even exist if differences between males and females had not pre-existed. It is better to embrace our positive differences than to fight about them.

    Re; Casual sexism displayed nowadays…I do not personally like all the debates on individual _____ism’s because they are not advocating for BOTH male and female in unison. It always seems to be one side trying to gain control over another AT their opponent’s expense. I do not consider this to be fair no matter what side one is on. Political correctness is just another form of social control and an extreme form of truth denial and truth avoidance. This is unconscionable to me. I believe the truth is more important than which side of a debate we fall under. I believe that that we should seek to know the truth and use it to reform “the system” because humans all have capacity to love one another based on free will whereas it is IMPOSSIBLE for any “system” to even feel any love let alone show us humans love. This is especially true for a system that is NOT motivated by love OR truth. Sure humans are corrupt, but I am entirely convinced the best practice would be to reform both our own thinking and especially to reform the motivations controlling the systems of our society. Truth is all our systems are nowadays in a complete conflict of interest with 99 % of all human beings.

    Patronizing and minimizing ones opposition is one way to stand up against our system which is called democracy, but what happens when you become the majority? Well quite simply neither side of any debate is 100% right or good so the truth is far more important than which side of a debate is currently in control. This is extremely important because those in control and in power use warlike “divide and conquer theories/methods to keep those not in control at each other’s throats while they just sit back and offer their pre-determined solutions and outcome, which is ALWAYS for the controllers benefit. What is really sick and disgusting about these so called solutions/scams is that they always end up enslaving and going against the will of a large majority of the people. Even in our modern politically correct societies it is routine that the 51 % can force the remaining 49% to do their will. “The system always wins no matter what” We must become aware of the truth and change this paradigm !!!

    1. “We do not Know Enough.” On the contrary, I believe that we all know enough to know that the truth is a better place to focus on than on just our personal issues and our differences. I agree though that we can never know too much.

    2. “We do not understand what there is to know” On the contrary, I believe we all know enough of the truth that we should stop fighting with each other and focus on what we all have in common and set our good motives to reform the systems that control our lives. I agree though that we can all be more understanding.

    3. “We are scared of any change to the status quo” On the contrary, I believe being scared is NOT a good motive, I believe things must be reformed and if we do not reform as human beings, the systems will attempt to reform us all against our own will. It does not matter if you are scared or not, if we do not adapt/reform to the truth and BECOME united for positive change/reform that benefits all good people…, we will continue to be controlled from the top down so to say. Truth is, our whole world society is being manipulated from both the top down and diabolically from the bottom up as well, in favor of global government and control which is based on everything BUT love for mankind. These social controls are motivated by even more than just love of money nowadays, it has become motivated by the love of power. Obviously there is absolutely no love involved in top down management techniques and systems. I agree though that that 99% of the human race is in a very scary world that is mostly not their own personal fault.
    We desperately need to know the truth about matters and we individually need a change of heart and where we are representing a group we must acknowledge how and why we are biased…and we must seek the truth and not simply how to beat the competition.

    Truth does not discriminate in favor of one group or another and never will.

    Truth does not fear anything or anyone.

    Truth is a two edged sword that separates fact from fiction.

    Truth is always going to be more powerful than human rights and justice and law and love and hate because it “is what it is” …and no human can change it without deceit! For example even when it is “deemed by someone else” that you have lost a debate or a fight, if your heart is in the right place and you know what the truth is, they cannot take the truth away from you. I find it is incredibly amazing that anyone can give you the truth if they wish, but no matter how hard they try to take it away from you, they CANNOT!

    The truth matters more than any discriminative and or divisive movement, because it offers freedom to 99% of the human race.

    Displacing or manipulating male or female etc. is NOT the answer, are we not better than animals and more relevant than say a tree or even a flower. No matter who you are, we need each other more than we have no use for each other. Even animals are truly more happy to be free, than to be corralled and penned up and force fed rations. Our systems have no love for us at all and we should stop fighting each other and change/reform things universally to benefit 99% of humans and not be manipulated by divide and conquer theories which first divide us and then weaken us so that we will accept lukewarm compromise which the powers that be always have prepared for us in advance. Truth is the more we fight and debate amongst ourselves the larger our systems and governments will become. Truth is we need more freedom and less government. Truth is, we need or system and governments to serve us and NOT the other way around. If anything does NOT serve the 99% it should be at the very least stripped of public funding, because if it cannot survive on its own true merits it should be eliminated. I do want to be clear that I am NOT even hinting at ANYTHING communistic that bad individuals and groups AND utopians have come up with so far in our history. We must know the truth all the time to be really free!

    Good and up building behavior should be the goal and an acknowledgement of the truth in all things human is the beginning. Due to all the terrible leadership nowadays, I have often advocated for what The Bible teaches but the truth is that our modern society is not even able to minimally accomplish the one verse that states the golden rule “do unto others as you would have done onto you” We must admit where we are acting pathetic and not only do we need to reform ourselves, but even if one of us refuses to do so the systems must all be reformed/changed to embrace the truth on all matters for the betterment of 99% of the human race

    In low income and middle class marriages nowadays WHY is it that in our so called modern world both males and females are forced to go and work (most times) exclusively for someone else just to manage their own necessities in life??? Why is it literally impossible for one of the parties to stay home and be with the children and watch over the home/estate. Why is birth control and abortion supported and advocated for, by our system??? Truth is, our system much prefers 2 tax payers rather than just one and our system also prefers us to have less children which makes us easier to manage and I dare say CONTROL. Our systems are attempting to overrule natural and spiritual laws in order to assert social control for their own benefit, not so much ours! Many of the controllers at the top of the systems co-operate together to accomplish their joint goals, as compared to the rest of us who do the opposite with each other. This is unacceptable and should NOT be tolerated. This truth should unite the 99% (no matter what issues you have personally) to unite and reform all the systems that are so corrupt. I all comes down to truly recognizing who is serving whom, and why everything nowadays is so completely abusive and corrupt. at its very core!

    I do feel discomfort, but only when I get snared in debates that are not going to be resolved based on truth or good will, resulting in positive reform for 99% of humans. Discomfort is inevitable if one feels different than the current majority, but when those in power are allowed to use this as a control theory FAR MORE DAMAGE OCCURS. Why are we paying for all of this AND feeling all the pain, when the truth is always easier to manage and maintain?

    Male v. female, black v. white, red v. blue etc etc… Divisions are NOT good unless we intend to live in isolation. We must rise above divisions and seek the truth about all matters and strive for perfection in first ourselves and then in others. We could be victorious with these systems of control, if we stick to the truth, so that even when one sees others debating and fighting, we seize the truth and hang onto that so we can be free either way, no matter what others may decide. Truth = Freedom and this is what we all need. We all have two choices; we can learn knowledge and wisdom and the truth from others freely, or we can learn it the hard way, with great cost and great pain personally!

    Best Regards to All and Keep Up The Good Work;
    Delmer O. B. Martin

    PS: I hate to have to say it but I believe what George Washington said many years ago, “Truth will ultimately prevail where there is pains to bring it to light.”

    August 28, 2016 at 8:40 pm
  • J Kirby Inwood Reply

    How about a page or two on the not so casual bias against men and fathers by the courts/ They are presumed guilty whenever a woman makes a complaint. Generally I have found that my raising this issue causes women to attack me which proves my point. Bias against men is rampant in Canada and it is ignored.
    Have you any idea what it is like to never have one single day free of women attacking men?

    September 1, 2016 at 6:25 am
    • Delmer O. B. Martin Reply

      You are correct, we have the exact same right for the truth to set us free!

      September 1, 2016 at 2:50 pm
  • Judy Gayton Reply

    Sandra if you want to give me your email I’ll PM you.
    Best

    September 1, 2016 at 5:42 pm

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